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What’s the most bizarre thing a customer has ever done at your place of work?

What’s the most bizarre thing a customer has ever done at your place of work?

by tukima32

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  1. Closing up, we had a customer who would not leave. We turned off the lights, so they grabbed a torch off the shelf to keep shopping. -_-

  2. I work in a supermarket.

    Middle-aged man came in, started standing around the salsa isle a little weird, doing a funny dance. Turns out he’d dropped a deuce and was sort of sliding the thing down his leg. Shook his ankle and a big turd came out.
    We made him clean it up.

  3. Came in absolutely corked and bought a freaking *angle grinder*. At 11am. Our manager went out to the parking lot to make sure he had a ride and low and behold his wife drove him.

  4. A man got very upset with me because he bought a wristband that “skips the line” on amusement park rides thinking it was for food lines. He was an extremely large man–admittedly too large to fit on most rides at the park. He yelled at me (a mobile guest services associate) because the person who sold it to him didn’t tell him he was too large to fit on the rides and refuse to sell it to him.

    I still wonder how many times he planned on eating that day to make it worth buying a $75 wristband to get to the front of the food lines….or why he thought our associates could just tell him he was too large to buy something.

  5. Worked in a big box technology retailer for a while. We were blessed with several visits from “the pooping bandit”. About twice a week, someone would find an honest to god turd in the drinking fountain. We watched camera footage, couldn’t find anyone pooping. Finally after 3 or 4 weeks we figure out there’s this mid-forties man who was going into the bathroom where he presumably took a shit, carried it out in his fucking hands, pretended to take a drink from the fountain, and then left a surprise for someone to find.

    He got banned from the store.

  6. Taken every single CD out of the rack and put them in piles on the bookshelf next to it, then leaving without buying anything at all.

  7. I worked in the kitchen of a restaurant many years ago. One night when I was closing the kitchen one of our servers said a couple of customers ran out on the bill. Later that night after the restaurant closed, I was cleaning the kitchen with a couple co-workers when we heard a loud crash, screams and groans. After searching where it came from, we found two men injured on the floor of the men’s bathroom and a large hole in the ceiling where the drop ceiling tiles used to be. Turns out they were the two men who ran out on the bill, waiting for the staff to clear out for the night so they can rob the place.

  8. I used to work in a pub and one evening I was the manager on duty. At some point in the later part of the evening a gentleman comes upstairs to the main floor and says that someone left a mess in the gents restroom downstairs.

    As I walked down the stairs and closer to the door of the restroom, a stench none other than shit permeated my nostrils. I opened the door, walked around the corner to find that someone had shit their self from the urinal *aaaaall* across the floor (in a line) leading to the bathroom stall. Inside the bathroom stall it was everywhere except for inside the actual toilet.

    Me being the manager on duty, I didn’t have the heart to allocate this cleaning job to any of the staff so I had to do it myself.

    Worst experience of my life.

  9. She was an ex-worker at the *government place.* There was a somewhat-big line of people and it was barely moving. She said it didn’t move *that* slow back when she worked there, so she straight-up got behind the counter and started attending the customers for free. None of our supervisors said anything. We later talked about it with them, and they all said that it looked like she knew how to do the job, and she didn’t charge anything… so no reason to tell her not to.

    Lowkey irresponsible of them, but not my problem.

  10. IT

    He tried to convince me (solid 20 minutes of my explanation) that he can’t download a .pdf file because he saw that his colleague did it earlier and that was the only copy.

  11. I used to work at a music venue and every so often we would host raves. For those unfamiliar with the scene, there’s an unbelievable amount of drugs, every rave I’ve worked there has been at least one person who has ended up in an ambulance. One night I was helping clean up afterwards and found a tied up condom (looked to be used) and a Gucci belt that was torn to shreds. Literally a leather belt torn into a hundred pieces. We scan everybody through the door obviously so there’s no way they could have smuggled in scissors or any sort of knife. I still have questions. What drugs was this person on? This was also the same night I got flashed multiple times by a very nice group of middle aged women and had to forcefully throw out an old classmate from high school because he was puking on everybody and got threatened with getting the shit beat out of him. Wild times…

  12. I work at an upscale steakhouse as a waitress. Only two days ago, I was serving a group of 7 (parents, their adult children, and great uncle). I reached onto the table to clear away an empty plate, and the mother slapped my hand! Then laughed like it was all a big joke.

  13. I told him to leave the store. He dis the whole, “I’m going to tell my friends and they’ll tell their friends and they’ll tell their friends.”

    I worked at a porn store. I was kicking him out for jiggling the door handles in the adult arcade.

  14. Had an elderly lady one time ask me the use and function of every vibrator we carry in the family planning aisle

  15. The wonderful world of Retail is full of them, but here’s a few:

    At my first job, we had a crazy Korean woman who walked around with a box in her jacket and was constantly screaming about how the government and “the Church” were trying to steal her quarters. She got banned after she assaulted another shopper.

    Another crazy dude had a full-on argument (complete with shouting) with himself about a Star Trek episode.

    There was the woman who threw a fit and left a cart full of $500 worth of groceries because we were sold out of Eggnog just before closing on Christmas Eve.

    A group of teenagers were in the handicap stall reading the first act of Romeo and Juliet aloud.

    A woman claimed that Milk (yes, Milk) is a government conspiracy.

  16. I use to roll sushi at a fancy restaurant in this tourist trap of a town and one time a customer asked for a Phoenix roll ( rice, nori, tuna, spicy mayo, and smoked salmon) to be made but with the extra step of being baked in the oven… She wanted her sushi cooked…

    Also at the same place, had a customer order a beet salad, minus the cheese, lettuce and onions… She paid $12 for a bowl that contained nothing but 4 ounces of beets in it..

  17. Ex Cardiac Nurse:

    A patient was admitted after having a heart attack. He had to have some stents placed to keep his coronary arteries open.

    Patients are advised not to do any heavy lifting or excessive exercise until they can walk up 2 flights of stairs (comfortably; without chest pain or shortness of breath) – a sign that the heart has recovered enough post procedure/post heart attack.

    You can imagine my surprise walking in on my overweight, out of breath patient lying on his hospital bed with his much younger, fitter boyfriend straddling him.

  18. I worked in a snackbar. we had a man from the old folks home who came in regularly. I geuss he got a little to comfortable because he straight up lit a cigarette in front of the register while ordering. Like any snackbar we have a “no smoking inside” policy. When we asked him to put it out he shrugged, finished his order and walked outside.

  19. I used to work at Gamestop. Guy came in, picked out a game and brought it up to the register. While I was ringing him up he asked me if we had a bathroom. I said sorry but no we don’t. Dude looked me straight in face, nonchalantly said “OK” and proceeded to piss himself as i was handing him his game!

    The stains in the carpet were there for years afterwards.

  20. So I’m 13 and sometimes work at my grandparents rental and dumpster company, and there are some really fucked up things, one example is of someone setting fire to a dumpster to “have more room” for all their shit. Many other things aswell

  21. I worked in a pub restaurant, a lady come to order some desert and asked “excuse me what flavours of raspberry jelly do you have”. Yes the answer was “raspberry”.

  22. Used to work at Costco as a food demonstrator. Occasionally we’d demonstrate pet food and allow customers to take a free sample home to trial on their pets. Now every now and then a customer would want to try the pet food. As per our manager’s instructions, this is allowable as long as we educate the customer that it’s food designed specifically for pets and that they have vastly different senses of taste/smell etc. Most people who still wanted to try it usually just took a bite and then grabbed a sample.

    One lady customer definitely stood out though, and I still remember her vividly. After trying a bit of cat food we had on display she literally froze, and with eyes wide open she told me that it was the tastiest snack she had ever had (this was a tuna flavoured dry food). She then proceeded to dig in and started munching on handfuls of this stuff. An elderly couple watched from behind and I’ll never forget the disgusted look on the old lady’s face as she mumbled: “oh dearie me…” The odd thing is after completing her feast the lady only ended up taking a tiny sample bag home for her four cats to try 🤔

  23. Waiting tables. In the middle of taking the drink order for a table of two middle-aged women, one of them pulls out a giant butcher knife out of her purse and starts scraping her arm with it because she “fell into a cactus and that’s how you’re supposed to get the needles out.” Ma’am idc if that’s the preferred method this is a restaurant

  24. A woman came in and started telling me that she was a light bringer and it was her duty to rid the world of demons. She went on for a good 20 minutes before she told me that there was a demon in the lobby of the hotel we were in (it was another guest talking on her phone). The light bringer proceeded to hiss and shout at the other guest to get rid of the demon living inside her. After that she walked out, got in her car and drove away.

    That was my second night working the overnight shift at a hotel.

  25. I used to work for a city and people mailed in their property taxes and someone mailed in the cheque and the envelope was full of dog hair, like clumps and handfuls of dog hair that they’d cut off their dog.

  26. I used to work graveyard at a few hotels. The most bizarre was probably the time a guest who couldn’t sleep came to the desk and took a ream of paper while I was loading the printers. They came back a while later with an empty pen and a stack of paper *covered* in writing, at which point they asked me to proofread their creative work. It was a slow night, so I took a look.

    It was written word salad. I wasn’t sure what they were trying to communicate, but it wasn’t based in reality. They seemed pretty lucid when they would come by the desk to chat, so I just kept up with pleasantries. They ended up needing medical assistance later in my shift, but it seemed like it was under control by the time I left work. Because it started strange and kept going from there, the entire experience felt like it couldn’t possibly be real.

  27. I was a cashier at a grocery store in high school and a customer bought an entire shopping cart full of squeeze butter. I didn’t ask any questions…

  28. A guy stole a mobile phone of the teller who was serving him. The stupidest thing ever as it all happened in a bank and there were video cameras everywhere. And of course, the bank knows all details of all the customers.

  29. I work as a pool attendant.

    I had a random guest look at me on the way out, stare at me for a few seconds, and then he says “you would make a good nazi” and carries on like he didn’t just say some bizarre shit. I barely interacted with him, just the usual “Hello, welcome to the pool” and information blurb and a couple of simple questions. I have brown hair and brown eyes and I’ll never know what inspired him to say that.

  30. I worked at a gas station so there are plenty of stories.

    One time a customer came into the store and stood against the cooler doors and proceeded to shit and scoot his way against the entire back wall. Shit was smeared everywhere, right in plain sight, in the middle of the day.

    And yes we had a bathroom.

    We had someone throw out an entire deer outside at the pump trashcans in pieces, men would constantly jerk off into the Playboys and then leave them in the bathroom, people threw tantrums if you asked for their IDs, I’ve seen hit and runs, people overdosing and collapsing right on the floor, an old man told me I didn’t look a day over 15 and then asked if I wanted to see his dildo collection.

  31. I was a reporter for a very small town newspaper. I wrote a passive fluff story about a sister city project with our town and a Russian town, Next day a nicely dressed guy shows up in front of my desk (no security at all at this place). He asks about my story, then calmly pulls out a beautiful Soviet flag, lays it on my desk AND SETS IT ON FIRE. Amid the fire alarms and chaos, he just sat there. Police later hauled him off to jail after the fire department finished up. No one hurt. Security was hired the next week…

  32. When I was a waiter at Perkins we had a lady shit all the way from her table to the bathroom. She’d done it at two other Perkins in the area too. She wasn’t allowed in anymore after that. We had to comp every customers meals. I felt bad for the bus boy that had to clean it up.

  33. When I was in college back in the day, I worked one summer at a Target. An elderly woman came into the bra section where I was stocking bras and such and needed help finding one. I was more than happy to help her find what she was looking for, thinking she’d know at least a little bit to be able to describe to me what she wanted. I asked her if she knew what cup size she was and she gave me a blank stare. Moments later she proceeded to lift up her entire sweater to show me her boobs and her current bra. She was a completely intelligent woman so it caught me totally off guard. The lady smiled a bit and shrugged and said “something like this”. Me, being ever so discreet, just said “ok, follow me”. Inside I was laughing and a bit surprised that this old lady had just flashed me. Lol. But I kept my decorum.

    I bet she would have been fun to hang out with.

  34. Not sure if bizarre is the right word.

    Folks come in, when asked to put on mask (signage ar the door already requests this, in compliance with state law) they start into how “this whole thing” is a hoax and/or some kind of government plot to muzzle free people, etc, etc, etc.

    This is a *medical office*.

    We go to tremendous efforts to provide medical care in the midst of a novel zoonotic respiratory viral pandemic, while keeping patients and staff healthy and safe.

    Everyone here has professional sisters and brothers who have literally died in service to their communities.

    If not bizarre, it’s sure as shit the wrong place and wrong time for this wrong-headed denialist crap.

    It’s like making an appointment with your tax preparer, and then going off on a rant about not owing taxes as a sovereign citizen. Holy crap.

  35. Worked at Home Depot years ago. Apparently a customer was trying to get my attention while I was walking down the main aisle, but I didn’t hear him. The next thing I knew, I heard a loud bang nearby and had a bunch of coworkers run over to ask me if I was okay. Turns out the customer threw a box of grout at me and just missed my head. But I had no idea any of this had happened. He ran out of the store before I caught a glimpse of him.

  36. I got a ticket on a busy night with a note that the customer needed his food made with zero onions of any kind because “they give him nightmares”. So I had to make an onthefly version of the sauce for the special that night WHICH WAS BASED ON FRENCH ONION SOUP. Like, order any other thing, dude. Get the burger. Get the fish. Get the chicken. Why order the heavy onion dish if they give you nightmares, which I call bullshit on. I’ve been in the kitchen for 23 years now and that’s the weirdest request I ever got.

  37. Used my desk phone to speak to someone in a bunch of Hebrew and then switched to English to say, “Come get me. My butt itches.”

  38. I worked as a zookeeper.

    Watched a guy press his whole mouth against the glass of one the exhibits, then lick it. When I asked what he was doing, he told me about how he and the hyacinth macaw had a “connection” and the macaw really liked it.

  39. Worked at Burger King. Dude walks in, super early, like 6 am. He places his order and goes to the bathroom… whatever.

    He comes out completely naked, grabs his order from the counter, sits down and starts eating, completely nonchalantly.

    I got my manager, cuz I was only 16 and had no idea what to do. She calls the cops, and when they show up, they’re just like. Oh. That’s ‘Jake’. Yeah. He’s done this before.

  40. I worked at a grocery store for about 6 years. Honestly it was a pretty normal job. Plenty of odd things and people but nothing crazy. I think the most bizzare thing happened when I was helping in dining area the store also had. A husband and wife are eating with their 3ish year old son. I watched as the kid smeared his food all over the table. And I mean all fucking over it. The parents definitely noticed and clearly didn’t care. I was too nice or dumb to say anything at the time and just thought I’d clean it up later. Then an older man came over and just started yelling at them calling them pigs and telling them to clean it up. The husband asked if he was serious to which the guy told him he was. This ensued a 5 minute yelling match where they were both calling each other rude among other things. The family then left, probably due to embarrassment. The craziest thing to me is how that husband and wife thought they were doing nothing wrong. I mean should that guy have yelled at them? No probably not. Are kids messy? Yes they for sure are. But would I ever let my kid make that much of a mess because I don’t have to clean it up some high schooler does and think that’s okay? No I certainly fucking wouldn’t.

  41. I work in a bar, well I used to at least.

    This lady comes up to the bar and asks for our “signature” bacon bloody mary. It has rendered bacon fat mixed in with the vodka and cooked down with jalapenos, then is topped with some pickled vegetables and a slice of bacon thrown in the glass. Takes her drink to the table and starts drinking it, we are at a ski lodge in Colorado, I only mention this because I think she must have been high as fuck. A few minutes go by and she comes up to the bar again with about 1/4 of the glass drank and she is upset (bacon is gone from glass). She asks what the ingredients are and I tell her about the rendered bacon fat/jap vodka that we make in house. She loses her mind, starts getting loud saying that she is a vegan and she didn’t realize that the “bacon bloody mary” would have meat in it and is having a fit. My other bartender is Australian and generally doesn’t put up with peoples shit and basically tells her to fuck off. Long story short we got a complaint to our manager over the deal but we all just laughed about it in the back office at the end of the day, everyone agreed that lady was absoultely moronic.

  42. My first job was at McDonald’s. I had been there for only a few weeks, working at the drive-thru handing out orders.

    A lady drove through. As usual, I said hello and smiled, handing her her drink and food. She asked for some salt. “Sure!” I said, still smiling, handing her a few packets of salt. As soon as they fell into her hand, she threw them back at my face. “Bitch!” she yelled, then drove to the front of the store so she could come inside and bitch about me and make a scene in front of my manager and 3 other teenage staff members.

    As I continued on with my work, confused and a little upset, I looked back to watch this lady yell and scream about me, my coworkers looking back and forth between me and her, clearly as confused as I was.

    When she finally left, I asked my manager what she was so angry about. She, giving zero fucks, just shrugged her shoulders and continued on. I was glad she had that reaction. I still cried later though lol

  43. Every Saturday night for a month, someone would come into the pub I was working and steal the door off the gents stall.

    They never took it far, was usually found in the garden or just down the street. Still have no idea how they managed it as the venue was always crazy busy so carrying a door around with no one noticing seems impossible.

  44. Worked at a home improvement store. Middle of a weekday a guy comes in high af, climbs onto a stack of drywall and naps for almost an hour. Like buddy we got massive bales of insulation 10ft away, rugs and even furniture with actual cushions in the store, no need to sleep on drywall. He got plenty of odd looks but everyone let him sleep. Finally woke up and just wandered out.

  45. NSFL: I used to work at a big clothing store in a mall with single use bathrooms. We had a customer (hopefully not an employee) remove the hand soap from the soap dispenser and replace it with a mix of both piss and shit. I’m not even sure how you would do that. Buy a drink at the food court and then use the empty cup to mix up this devil’s concoction? One of our employees went to use the soap dispenser one morning and broke down in tears. I’ve always wondered what compels someone to do something like that. It’s not the only place I’ve worked with disgusting bathroom issues, but that was definitely the worst one.

  46. Working at a liquor store at 10pm and this group of girls are in the store laughing kinda buzzed and one sees this beer hat sitting on a stack of beers. She’s like “I WANT THAT!” so we said “Fine, do something cool then.” She does a fucking backflip on the spot, in the space of maybe 2m x 1m, reaches over shoves the hat on her head and saunters out like a fucking madlass.

    I think I saved the security footage somewhere… I used to keep some funny footage, especially since we had access to the pub next door security system. Those were some fun days

    Edit: [found!](https://imgur.com/a/IW9IlH4)

  47. I used to work in a gelato place, scooping one of forty flavors. This dude walks in, high as a mother fucker. He looks me with with blood shot eyes and says “how much is the potato salad, man?”

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Written by askbimber

It’s great to receive recognition at work like plaques, certificates, titles, and the like. Just be sure your paycheck is also reflecting your exemplary performance.

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